Leaving on...not quite a jet plane.

More like my dad's car! Moving to London tonight, it's all very exciting. I don't think I'll have internet access for a while at the flat but can check my e-mails (and possibly this site) from work. also have lost my phone so send me your numbers!
x

As promissed

A longer more detailed blog about my week away to Wales. Well I suppose I should start at the very beginning and the mad dash that haunts me every holiday on the morning of going away. I see it now as the starter gun in the race of any holiday and without it I doubt I'd feel I'd really gone away at all. This one wasn't too bad, as I'd packed everything in good time, made my sandwiches for the coach, double checked the tickets and keys to the chalet and most importantly not got drunk the night before leaving. So yes all was looking well until the inevitable happened. We had left Martin's flat and were on our way to the train station when I realised I didn't have my wallet. Panic struck and a thousand locations flashed through my mind, my house, my dads car, the pub, my other trousers, my suitcase.....where the bloody hell was it? Martin raced back to his to check for it and a stressful phone call comprised mainly of "It's not there? Well it's not here either" "No its definitely not in the flat" "Well I haven't got it" round and round it went in a horrible semantic circle. Until Hurrah, there it was wedged down the back of Martin's sofa. A swift jog to the train station later we discovered we had precisely 3 minutes to catch our train and what's that?? A massive queue!!! So we did what any good Englishman would do under the circumstances and loudly complained of our situation in the hope of a queue jump. The other's in the queue were good sorts and kindly let us go before them. With precisely 30 second before the train was due to leave we bounded down the stairs, my wheeled suitcase had flipped over so I was forced to drag it down the stairs scraping the fabric and risking the jar of coffee packed neatly in the front. I should imagine I had a hilarious expression on my face of "I don't care if my suitcase explodes and my nickers fly over the tracks, I am NOT going to miss this train". So we jumped on the train red faced and out of breath relieved that we hadn't missed it and found our seats. The train rather embarrassingly sat in the station for a further minute, but being good English sorts no one mentioned this. And on we went, the rest of the journey went extremely smoothly until there we were in wales in the torrential rain with no idea as to the location of our chalet. Ahh to the pub please taxi driver, yes the nearest pub.So we wet our whistles and asked the locals for help, which they duely gave. Up the hill and to our chalet, rain rain rain rain. We got there drenched to the skin but glad to be home, and the bottle of wine left for us on the kitchen counter, well that was definitely a sight for sore eyes. So with a rum and coke and some Delicious bacon and onion soup we had arrived, ready for our adventure to begin.

That's it for the first installment, I'm off now to have an adventure with Siobhan, but I'll let you in on the gory welsh details later. They'll be guns, rabbits, rock climbing, coastal path walks, secret beaches and make shift drum kits.

A week away in Wales

Well this is going to be a short one as I'll probably do a better blog about my week away tommorrow. Ahh it was a beauty though, and that is something coming from me. After spending three years living in Wales it perhaps has not gone unnoticed that I've a love/hate relationship with the place. But dear me, Nolton Haven is beautiful AND it only rained for 24 hours, believe me that is good going.

I'll leave you with some pics and tell you all about it tommorrow.

I'd Give Last Week A B+

Well last week was a week of 'B's by all accounts. Brothers, Book launches, Birthday's, BBQs, Booze and Bashing on the guitar at gigs (I know that last one was poor). I may well elaborate later on the events but all I'll say for now is what a jolly week it was. I've also been trying for some time to get my script on here in some link format to save having to post it in its entirety, but sadly to no avail. So I'll say now if anyone would like to read my six minute short film script tell me your e-mail address and I'll gladly send it to you for your criticisms, constructive or otherwise.

Oh and a very short notice one.
come to this

Photos, pub lunches, sexy undies, glarebears and the beige invasion

Ahh what an excellent day yesterday turned out to be. It started, as all good days should, with a pub lunch. So we kicked our hangovers out the door and engaged in an excellent people watching excercise, characters included, "the absent robotic waitresses scared assistant", "the snaggletoothed barman who didn't have the authority", "the incredibly slow chewing couple" and last but by no means least "the women whose burger was disgusting". So with our hunger more than taken care of we headed for southend seafront and the birth place of the phrase "Glare Bear". The miserable weather provided the perfect backdrop for photos of the great british public and things started off well when Shiv spotted a jolly women throwing chips to a crowd of seagulls, the womens face was a picture when hearing Shiv remark "Whoa look at those birds, they've got spaceheads." Shiv also spotted an amazing machine selling "Sexy Undies" each pair comes with a free dose of gonnereah, I'm sure. After taking a few photos of the elderly, sexy undies and seagulls we headed for the pier, or the great southend tourist swindle as it should be called. We had previously discussed that neither of us had been to the pier for a good 12 years but were still both shocked to discover that it cost more than 75p to walk down. A full £3 later and with an unjustified scalding from the ticket women to "TAKE YOUR RECEIPT" we set off on our jaunt. On our journey we were overtaken by a man with a walking stick and various family's pushing relatives in wheelchairs. I have convinced myself that this is more a comment on how many times we stopped to take photographs than on mine and Siobhan's physical fitness. When we reached the end of the pleasure pier we were confronted with a magnificent sight. Southend Piers Main Attraction


We also saw an old women who had the brightest ginger hair I have ever seen. She was a true beauty and her husbands plans to "go down to the cockle cafe for a nice cuppa" systematically broke and warmed our hearts. Other sights included, workmen bending over, a pidgeon leaving the lifeboat gift shop and talking telescopes that "smelt of other peoples eyes". These cosmopoliton exploits left our heads in a spin and after spending quite a while trying to coax a pidgeon onto the "Weigh yourself" machines for the perfect photo we decided it was time to head back. We Waited at the pier train station and watched as reams of the elderly and bewildered (or The Beige Invasion) milled around the end of the pier.

The train ride back was bumpy to say the least. Shiv almost caused herslef a mischeif trying to take a photograph and being banged in the head


But this was simply practice for her love hate relationship with the slush puppy she bought once we were back on the golden mile. Brain Freeze


Ahh an excellent day indeed. More pictures will be uploaded by either me (http://www.flickr.com/photos/33608281@N04/)
or shiv (http://www.flickr.com/photos/betty_bingo/) on flickr.

This week is shaping up to be very pleasing indeed. I spent last night recording two songs or rather Dave spent last night recording two of my songs and I'm pretty pleased with how they've turned out. Both pretty simple recordings, vocals and guitar (albeit Dave's 12 string guitar in places) but I like them nonetheless. This afternoon has been mostly spent sitting in the sheltered sun of the garden reading The Plague. Perhaps not the most "summery" of summer reads, but there we are. I even have a little colour now which has made me look a little less like the anemic Goth I saw in an old photo I found whilst sorting out my old GCSE folders. It was quite strange to see all my old school books, but did make me laugh to see that in place of a parent’s signature in my homework diary were the names "Colonel Mustard" "Sophie's Mum" and "The Cat" for three successive weeks. I am guessing that the angry red signature next to them means my head of year was informed of this most grievous act. Apparently I also have permission to wear trainers until the 25/1/02 a right which I can only hope I capitalised on. I also found an old poetry/lyric book from when I was around 14. Angst is not the word! Some of it was pretty hard to read, at least without pangs of embarrassment and guilt at what a self-righteous little thing I was, I certainly did have the teen blinkers on when I was that age. I think my favourite embarrassing line was

"I feel like a piece of gum
Stuck underneath the table of life."

Very deep, I'm sure.

Tonight me and Siobhan are finally going to watch Slumdog Millionaire and tomorrow will be a day spent taking photographs of the great unwashed, either that or we'll find a nice little country scene.

So yes, a very pleasing start to the week!

If eyes are the window to the soul then my soul is red and itchy.

Conjunctivitis? I wouldn't bother with it, it's pretty rubbish as infections fair. Though it does give you the exciting feeling of being blind every morning when you can't open your eyes for the gunk. So you know, maybe not be that bad. My eyes are actually getting better, still red as anything but they are no where near as swollen as they were. I should think I'll be completely cured by the gig at Bar Lambs on saturday. Oh, you should come. here is a photograph I took of myself to prove how bad my eyes were.

Aint nothing but a hound dog

Ahh Me, Shiv, David and many others donned our darndest animal get up this weekend for Amy's nature party and an excellent night was had by all. Shiv dressed up as a terrifying panda (Michael jackson/Brian May influenced) and Dave was a crazy croc! They both arrived when before most people had got into their porper costumes so their entrance was magnified tenfold. They definately got my vote for best dressed, though they did look a little like the last day of a holiday camp kids club! Ha ha. I unfortunately did not make as much effort, coming dressed as a dog. Although I hope that my face painting skills made up for my lack of full costume. I played a set which hopefully went down well and have possibly got a gig in Laaandaaan out of it, fingers crossed! Spent the rest of the night dancing the "bum shuffle" with Shiv and laughing till we couldn't breathe! I also performed my old faithful trick, a game I like to call "Shiv, I've lost everything I own". The Basic rules are

1. I look around the room in a drunken haze and notice that all my possession aren't immediately at my disposle.

2. I check my pockets and when I find nothing I say to Shiv in a voice somewhere between depression and despair "Shiv I've lost everything I own".

3. Siobhan spends approximately 3 seconds finding my things for me.

4. I feel silly but glad to have a swell pal.

Afterwards Me, Shiv and Dave headed back to theirs and Shiv prepared some drunken snacks (that I actually completely forgot about untill about 8pm last night)

Ahh a great night and beauty of a weekend,

Cheers!

The most interesting thing to have happened to me in ages.

I have recently discovered that I HATE Salvo the Clown's nose.



Photo by Lee Arty Smokes

Feeling Chipper, Wealthy Tipper.

I am feeling rather fine and dandy today and was in a particularly swell mood for most of yesterday. I think there may be something in the air, because it definately can't be the weather that's put me in the most finest of fine fancies. Rain, sun, rain, sun, rain, rain, SLEET.....and sun. That's how I would describe today if I were Michael Fish, or perhaps Jeremy Paxman as shown in this little gem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMAt8ZXqtbc

Spent a fun and boozy one round Shiv's last night but seem to have made it through without a hangover, very pleasant. I must've been all the pears in the "el soleill" (Don't think that's right what was it called shiv?)mighty fine box 'o' wine I dare say. Siobhan excelled herself with the selection of trash TV brought to the table, my personal favourite comment of the night being, "A drunk woman? 8 months pregnant? attacks a policeman?? YESSS!!!" It truly was right up our streets, or should I say our Street-Crime Uk's.

I spent a rainy unemployed day taking photos of things in my house and pretending to be good at it. It was fun. Here are a few of my attempts. I have been told that the pic of my toes was "a perfect example of a photographic cliche" Oh Well...







I have also put a few new (old) recordings up on this site www.myspace.com/dearcharles They are all pretty poor quality recordings, done on either my digital camera or mp3 player. Still perhaps it adds character.

"Every Saint has a past and every sinner has a futre."

Oscar Wilde

Beautiful.

Heroes and Villains

My current obsessions include..




Leonard Cohen

"There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."
Leonard Cohen


Albert Camus

"We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage."
Albert Camus

My on going favourtie....


Charles Bukowski

"Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live."
Charles Bukowski

The two best films I've seen recently are Nuts In May (Mike Leigh, 1976) and Wish You Were Here (David Leland, 1987). Both very British affairs and both extremely funny. Shiv and Dave pointed me in the direction of the second one and Nuts In May is an old favourite of Martin's. Go Watch both of them, NOW!

The Onset of Unemployed Inspired Boredom

I still can't find a job so I'm trying to fill my days until I stop getting "No's" and start Hearing "Yes" from these whiley tykes in the dirty business of media . I made this video using stills and footage shot with my digital camera and edited on Windows Movie Maker, hence the quality is not exactly industry standard. Was fun making it though and definately killed a few hours. The song is "She's Found" by my band Goodbye Watson Camus. Enjoy.

25 Things About Me (From Facebook)

1. When I was about 10 years old I appeared as an extra on ITV's Popular Police drama, The Bill.

2. When I was about 10 and two months old I was extremely disappointed to find that my television debut amounted to a half second shot of a burnt photograph of me. ( I only knew it was me because I recognised my denim jacket.)

3. I have broken four bones in my lifetime. All in the same day. All in my right foot. I was around 12 years old.

4. My parents only recently found out that I broke my foot by jumping off a mates shed. They believed me when I told them I fell off the patio.

5. Once on the way to college I decided to check my appearance in the wing mirror of a car. After a fair old while I realised there was music coming from inside the car. I turned around to see an elderly man staring at me from the drivers seat. He did not look amused.

6. The first album I ever bought was Pulp "his n hers" in 1994/5.

7. The first music festival I ever went to was V 96. I went with my Mum.

8. I have a few scars, most are not prominent. The most noticeable is on my neck. Its about 4 inches long and is the result of having a cyst removed.

9.I had three staples put in my head to close a wound I made on my 17th birthday. I got too drunk and fell over in the sunrooms car park. In A&E I was told off for making faces at my brother and was promptly thrown out of the X-ray department for trespassing.

10. I have fallen asleep standing up in my parents garden shed.

11. My favourite poem at the moment is "Genius of the Crowd" by Charles Bukowski.

12. My Favourite book at the moment is "The Fall" by Albert Camus.

13. When I was little my favourite toy was a cabbage patch kid who I named "Silly-up Bert". He was later destroyed when, going through a Goth phase, my mate and me decided he would look cool hanging from my ceiling covered in fake blood and pins. I never really wanted to hang Silly-up Bert from the ceiling but was "too cool" to say anything and took him down as soon as my mate left.

14. The story in No.13 still makes me a little bit sad.

15. The fact that Nora wrote most of her list in the third person made me a little bit annoyed when reading it.

16. After watching an episode of 999 lifesavers when I was young I became obsessed with the notion that our house was going to burn down as I slept. This thought would keep me awake many nights.

17. If people ask me what my favourite film is I generally say Rebel Without a Cause.

18. I played the roles of "Hawaiian Girl" and "Stranger No.3" in my playschool and Infant School nativity plays. On reflection I think they probably made these roles up.

19. My first gig was at The Grand Hotel. I was so nervous I didn't let any of my friends come to it and sat pretty much with my back to the audience while playing.

20. I wanted to be a dog when I grew up.

21. When I was in secondary school I lost somebodies German exchange partner.

22. Me and My brother used to set Home Alone style traps for my dad. They always worked.

23. I would put hairnets, people singing along to songs when they don't know the words, anyone who would describe themselves as "mad" or "crazy", the sound of things scraping against the ice when you get them out of the freezer and the word "guesstimate" into Room 101. Though the second one is excusable when drunk.

24. If I live to be a pensioner I am going to steal from shops. I also intend to offer mints to stangers on buses and then give them raw mince meat if they accept.

25. I am rather good at rock, paper, scissors.

This is the End

After being pointed in this direction by Siobhan I have decided to start a Blog. So what has happened so far this morning? I arose at 7.45am not bad for an unemployed! I have had two cups of tea, a cigarette and two scotch pancakes and am feeling rather chipper. I feel today will be a huge contrast to yesterday's breakdowns (Causes: 1. My incompetence at navigating the libraries reference system 2. An article I read about a Prosopagnosia sufferer who could only recognise his wife in Tesco if she wore a red jumper 3. Almost crying because of a scene in Gilmore Girls 4. Almost crying because I was Watching Gilmore Girls.) (Un)Fortunately I have a group interview later for a job selling life insurance, I have been informed by the agency that it will consist mainly of team-building excersises and trying to sell mystery products to the group. I hate group interviews and have had many, the worst one was probably being forced to do a dance in the basement of the Lush shop in Southend. God, I HATE group interviews. If they ask me to describe myself in three words I shall be forced to say "Sticky Back Plastic." Oh well, I suppose it is only an hour of my life and I might aswell pretend to be a soulless-yet-very-bubbly selling machine, God knows I need the money. So yes, I shall be zainey, wackey, mad and crazy with good eye-contact and the ability to lead a conversation and make it up to my soul later. If that doesn't work I will jump up and down with my bum in the air, I've heard that's the kind of thing they're after. Oh well onwards and upwards, I shall fill you in on the key embarrassments later.